72 Days

The world seems shocked and even a little incensed at the brevity of Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries, but in the grand scheme of things, by Hollywood standards at least, it wasn't really so short.

Remember Britney Spears was married to her childhood friend, Jason Alexander, for a whopping two days in '94.

Going back a ways you'll remember that Michelle Phillips of the Mamas & Papas tied the knot with actor Dennis Hopper in 1970. They remained ensconced in wedded bliss for 7 long days and nights. But as day 8 dawned, they decided they'd had enough and it was splitsville for that couple.

And who can forget Cher's quickie marriage to Gregg Allman just 3 days after her divorce from long-time love and father of her only daughter.....uh, son, uh....whatever, Sonny Bono? That lasted all of 9 days.

In more recent memory, Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman tied and untied the knot back in '98. After just 9 days of marriage Mr. Basketball sought an annulment, but then changed his mind and decided to give the marriage the old college try. They made a valiant effort for another 126 days before calling it quits permanently.

Actress Catherine Oxenberg and Robert Evans' bliss lasted 12 days.

Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas' marriage lasted almost a whole month, 29 days to be exact. Never being one to fall off the proverbial horse and not get right back on, she then hooked up with Tom Green and stayed with him a whopping 5 months.

Not to be outdone by the lovely Ms. Barrymore, Jennifer Lopez wed Ojani Noa, a paring that lasted 13 months and quickly followed up with a marriage to Chris Judd. That one made it 8 months.

As serial marriages go, Shannon Doherty can proudly boast 2 quickie marriages of her own. First a 5 month affair with the dashing Ashley Hamilton followed by a 9-monther with Richard Saloman (who?)

Other couples who failed to make it to their first anniversary are Jim Carrey and Lauren Holley - 9 months, Erin Everly and Axel Rose - 7 months, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock - 4 months, Colin Farrell and Amelia Warner - 4 months, Nick Cage and Lisa Marie Presley - 3.5 months, Nicky Hilton and Todd Andrew Meister - 3 months and Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds - 2 weeks.

The top prize, however, goes to Mike Tyson's former main squeeze, Robin Givens, who, in 1997, married and separated from tennis instructor, Syetozar Marinkovic, all on the same day.

This is big city Hollywood for you, one might say. But this foolishness happens in "the real world" also. Take the case of a couple from small village Germany who married and called it quits in just 3 hours. What in the world could have gone wrong that quickly? Did she get angry when he smashed cake in her face? Did he lose it when he removed her garter and discovered his best freund's (buddies) name tattooed on her inner schenkel (thigh)? Nope, soon after tying the knot, the groom took a kitchen knife to his brides golden locks. She took umbrage at having her hair unceremoniously whacked off, a violent argument ensued, police were summoned, restraining orders were taken out, the wedding was quickly annulled and guests were sent packing without even having been allowed to enjoy the blissful couples first dance, or the reception's cold schnitzel and warm beer.

Perhaps these couples didn't heed Percy Sledge's advice (actually his mother's) and take time to know her** (or him, as the case may be.) That's certainly true in the Kim/Kris case, as they knew one another only a few short months before they took the plunge. He didn't even know she'd been married before, for heavens sake. Hasn't the guy ever heard of Google?

Although I don't recommend it, knowing one's betrothed for just a short period of time before taking that long walk down a short aisle can actually work. I know, because I speak from experience. My husband and I had our first date in late February, became engaged in mid May and married in early October of the same year. That was 13,880 days ago or 38 years (as of the date of this posting) and still going strong.

** If you're not familiar with this 1960's hit, you should download and listen to it; it's a good one.